I woke up this morning thinking........................
It's my birthday
about my mom!
Well because on my "birth" day my mom was there, having me, bringing me into the world.
I lost my mom when I was in second grade to mental illness (she left us at a baby sitter's, never to return) and then to death (she was in a car accident and the police found my uncle's phone number (no one knew where she was) after 3 day's of searching her house, called him and I went out to Idaho to deal with things) when I was 30.
This morning I had a flood of wonderful memories of my mom~
With her mental illness she was either an above average, amazing mother or she was depressed and neglectful, but never abusive or anything bad overtly.
When she was feeling well she lite up the world with her smile and joy!
Here are some amazing memories I have of her that bring joy to my heart :
~When I was about 2 yrs of age I was in the hospital in one of those cribs with the heavy clear plastic over them with oxygen. I had pneumonia. I can remember seeing my mom come thru the door (the vision looks all blurry thru the thick plastic) and the utter joy and excitement of seeing her was like a angel coming. I adored my mom in a special way that I feel God blessed me with knowing she wouldn't be around for most of my life.
~I have a clear, almost video like memory of me and my neighbor sitting in the back seat of my mom's car while it was heating up on a cold, snowy day when I was in 1st grade and while we all waited for the car to heat up so my mom could take us to school, my mom turned around in her front drivers seat to look right at me and wink and give me a smile that said "I adore you and you are special" She had almost a twinkle in her eye and was snapping her Wrigley's spearmint gum like she always did. I can't do it to this day;) That moment sounds ordinarily sweet, but it was magical and I can feel those feelings when I think about it!
~The Christmas before she left us for good (February of my second grade) she called me into her bedroom and the bed was covered in presents and wrapping paper. She said "I am going to teach you to wrap presents". And she proceeded to very carefully, step by step show me how to perfectly wrap. To this day I wrap exactly the way she taught me and remember that teaching moment.
~The Christmas before she left was magical. She always made every event special. She always gave the best gifts. I got a little piano, some other things and a baby doll that was life size with blonde hair, a pink dress, a soft body and when you layed her back her eyes closed and she said "mama"! I adored real life babies and baby dolls and this one was perfect in every way. I clung to that doll, as it represented her love for me after she was gone. I sensed this would be my last Christmas with her (one of those mysteries of life) and remember that day well!
I can't use my scanner with my computer, long story, but someday I will figure out how to post pictures of my mom!
For now imagine a cross between Audrey Hepburn and Shirley jones (when she bleached her hair. Her hair was dark. I got my blonde from my dad)
I miss my mom so much and especially around my birthday and Christmas!
Yesterday we had a potluck Christmas party at work and a present exchange-
We drew names and wrote down 5 things we liked-
I have loved Lang calendars for over 20 years.
I had a frame made at our local art/framing shop years ago and have my favorite images from my calendars each year matted and then I interchange them when I feel like it.
This is the frame and the current Lang image I have in it. This is literally from a calendar I had in 1987. I love it!
How come when I take the flash off it's blurry??
Anyway now stores sell frames for calendars. Wish I would have had the money to reproduce my idea years ago;)
Have a super great weekend everyone!